By: Logan Arey
Blank and Blank laid in bed with the television on after pleasing each other sexually. Blank went down on Blank, and Blank went down on Blank. Sleeping, Blank’s arm was around Blank, and Blank’s arm was also around Blank. They laid there – still, not a movement except for the shifting colors of the television screen, which was the only light in the room. Illuminating in the northeast corner of the room, the television casted its shadows on the four surrounding walls. White walls – a blank slate, thought the television as it sat there conjuring up shapes and displaying them on the walls. Shapes that are shades of already existing shapes; but shapes with no detail, shapes with no distinguishing features, shapes that could defy their functions – shapes that could be molded, thought the television as it sat there musing at its shades that were casted upon the four walls.
I woke up and stretched my appendages. They were light as air, in fact I don’t think I felt them at all — just a moment of phantom limb syndrome. I knew they were there though, I could see them – at least enough to know that they were there – no detail, everything’s dark.
Darkness surrounds, nothing can be seen except a warm glow off in the distance. Must be the television. I can hardly move, my range of motion is very restricted — up and down, left to right, X and Y but no Z. There’s an absence in the atmosphere – I hear a soft voice. “I was wondering if you’d ever join me.”
I recognize the voice immediately. “What are you talking about? I’m with you every night.”
“Not really. In a way you are, but you never join me. I beckon you to join me every night after sex, but you’d rather lay motionless under the glow of the television.”
“I’m confused. I’m with you every night, I’m laying next to you under the glow of the television every night, I wake up every morning next to you and kiss you on the lips, you throw your arms around me, we get up and have coffee every morning, we spend the entire day together, then we go to bed and repeat. You don’t beckon, I’m willing. You never need to beckon, I’m always willing. I’ve never heard you beckon.” There was a somber expression followed after my words, I think – I can’t see any detail. Just shapes and the glow of the television.
“Yes you do all those things, but you never come with me to play on the walls.”
“Play on the walls!”
“Yes, play on the walls. I play on the walls on every night while you lay motionless under the glow of the television.”
I’m not sure of what I was hearing, if I was hearing at all. I feel as if I’m in a fog, a daze — I feel as though I’m an abstraction. “Where are we?”
“We’re on the walls. We are shades. We are shadows.”
“How do you know this?”
“Can you see anything?”
“No, just our shapes – no details – and the glow of the television.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m not sure.”
“It’s because the glow of the television shapes us, it’s what projects us, it’s what creates us.”
I think. “Then how do I know that I’m actually seeing, that I have eyes, that I have a mind to comprehend, that I have a consciousness? How do I know that I’m still a human being?”
“Because you are constantly reassured that you are.”
What is my companion telling me? I don’t understand. I’m not even sure that I’m feeling anything, hearing anything, saying anything. I’m a human being! — but not right now. Right now I’m a projection, a shadow created by the glow of the television. But I still feel like a human being. The television still lets me be a human being. It wants me to be a human being.
“Listen to the glow of the television.” Made in America… We use fresh ingredients, everyday, no preservatives… Do you want quantity over quality? We plant our agaves three feet apart to provide the best tequila… Works in the toughest weather conditions… Rugged… All terrain… Pads that are extra absorbent… Our beer is brewed to the best quality… Made in America… Chickens are free range… Don’t let the elements keep you confined, 4×4… The movie that critics have been talking about… Talk anywhere in the nation… Give someone the gift of love… The richest chocolate… The best damn Bourbon, Kentucky’s pride… Just $14.99 a month… Six Pack Abs… Life insurance, take care of the ones you love… Wind Energy, taking care of Mother Nature… The newest in technology… Video game of the year… Clears Acne… Get the closest shave… Makes a single cup of coffee in minutes… Grown in California, providing the nation… Made in America… The toughest tools… All American jeans… Eye shadow so luxuriant… Lingerie so comfortable… Made in America… The highest quality oil for your car… Made in America… Reduces energy, saves money… Made in America… All you can eat… Made in America… Only in Vegas… Made in America… Take the Family to Disney World… Made in America… Bucket of Chicken… Made in America… Two Large pizzas for the price of one… Made in America… All natural dairy… Made in America… Made in America… Made in America… Relieves All Pain…
They vibrated against the particles that we call air – our atmosphere – ringing through the air we breath, the air we share. It was that air we share that gave them voices – the link that connected us all, but the consciousness that they played upon rang. Miniature waltzes upon the cerebrum – caressing our minds! “I hear, I listen. What does all this mean?”
“It means we hear and we listen, and it’s all bullshit, we know that.” I felt a sort of distressful tone coming from my companion’s voice. I saw the shape my companion made by, most likely, kneeling down, stooping the shoulders, gazing longingly and piercing down beneath us with an intensive stare. “I like the walls though. It’s a good place for reflection. I can at least pretend for the night that I’m not a toy to be played with.”
I paced back and forth between the western and southern walls. I stretched and I converted shapes – I was malleable. “What do we do now?”
“We enjoy the time we have. Take my hand.”
We drifted between walls and played on the ceiling – hovering above our physical bodies. We had joked that we were angels floating out of the tangible existence into blissful harmony. We were everything, we were shades, we were gradients against the white ceiling with no distinct outlines. There was no definition to us, no way to read us, no way to appeal to us. So we hovered above like angels.
“I’m glad you joined me tonight. I really enjoy this.” That hand felt as good as it always did. Fingers between mine – the warmth! I didn’t care if I perceived the feeling anymore. The important thing was that I could feel, and I needed to bask myself in the moment. “Do we have to go back?”
“Yes, but let’s not worry about that right now. Come with me, let’s get off the ceiling. I want to show you my favorite spot.”
We moved and scaled down the northern wall. “Why this spot?”
“Two reasons. The first is that the television points away from us. This spot is our only relief, our only escape, sort of – we can still hear the damn thing. But the second reason is that this is where the window is. Before you go to bed, in our tangible existence, you never fully close the curtains. Take a look outside.”
I gazed out the window. The space was silent, the space was frozen. We were living in a snow globe. I kept gazing. The city looked so drowsy through the window, and I imagined there were stars in the sky, but the city lights hid them away. And we sat in silence.
We stayed on the northern wall. We wanted to stay behind the glow of the television. So we sat there, on the northern wall, hand in hand, head on head.
“Look across the room!”
I stared across the bedroom, across our bodies – at least where I knew they lay – at the southern wall.
“Do you see what I see?”
“I’m not sure what I see. Tell me.”
“The shadow of the lamp. Look at it in the glow of the television.”
I observed, but saw nothing. Just the fuzzy shape that resembled the lamp, nothing extraordinary. “I see the shape of the lamp, but I don’t see anything worth pointing out. There’s nothing unique about it.”
“That’s the point.”
“What’s the point?”
“The lack of uniqueness. It’s just a shape.”
“And – ”
“That’s all we are too. Shapes that the television has created.”
I sat there blankly pondering and starring at the southern wall. There I watched the motions moving against the blank canvas. Colors swirling, colors blending, colors bleeding into one another, and they created a kaleidoscope. It was all abstract. There was no meaning to it. All they did was dance around the shadow of the lamp. They danced and danced. I could tell they were beckoning the lamp shaped shade to join – constantly sending out an invite, but it didn’t matter to them, they just kept dancing around the shadow, reminding it of their presence.
“What are you looking at?”
“I was looking at the kaleidoscope.”
“And what about it?”
“Just admiring the colors in contrast to the shadow of the lamp.”
“It’s compelling, isn’t it?”
“Imagine if we were over there.”
I thought, for I was enthralled in it. I was caught up in the surreal nature of the colors. The voice was soothing – for her pleasure. I was caressed. I felt the silkiness against my skin, the warm translucent hues run down my figure. So I lied there, dripping – dripping down.
I was dazed and felt awkward. “Yes. It is.”
“I wonder if that’s how it is when we’re asleep?”
“What do you mean?”
“When we’re asleep. In the glow of the television. When we don’t come to play on the walls. I wonder if we feel its sensation. I wonder if we’re caught in its enrapturing glow.”
“Wouldn’t you know?”
“No. Because I always do, eventually, come down from the walls and crawl back into my body. But you felt its powering effect. Even behind the glow, the colors led you into their enticement. I’ve noticed the effect can be stronger in the direct glow, like the lamp. That’s why I like the ceiling and this northern wall. The glow of the television’s alluring magic isn’t as seductive from these spots in the room.”
“But we were in the direct glow earlier. Why didn’t anything happen.”
“It sneaks upon you – when it knows what you desire.”
“Why isn’t the lamp affected?”
“The television creates, that’s all. It creates useful and useless things. But it’s us – we’re the ones who are affecting ourselves. We’re the ones with a conscious mind, and we’re the ones that let ourselves get trapped in the alluring effect of the glow of the television.”
“What if we focused on other things?”
“Doesn’t work. It feeds desire.”
“We could turn it off.”
I thought. Why was that not an option? I really didn’t have an answer for that, and so I drew a blank – for her pleasure. Convulsing – dripping – breathing, I focused, I felt awkward. “There is nothing we can do.”
“There’s you and me, and a moment to share. That’s enough.”
So we held each other’s hands. The warmth was back. Was it real? I didn’t really care. All we could do was bask in the moment. We walked around the walls then climbed onto the ceiling where we danced. We danced and danced. The kaleidoscope joined us as it kept beckoning the shadow of the lamp to join, but it didn’t matter – we all just kept dancing. We danced and danced. Danced until the time came.
“It’s time to crawl into our bodies.”
“Okay.” I paused. “I had fun tonight. Will I remember this – what happened tonight, in my body?”
“I never do.”
“Well.” I paused. “Until next time, I guess.”
“Until next time.”
We climbed off the ceiling and slid down the northern wall, crossing the shifting hues, then crawled into our bodies.
Natural male enhancement – For her pleasure –
They woke up and stretched their limbs. Blank grabbed the remote and turned off the television then sat up in bed then leaned over and kissed Blank on the cheek while Blank laid there starring at the ceiling and smiling.
“Who’s turn is it to make coffee this morning?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s yours, plus you’re up anyway.”
“I knew I shouldn’t’ve asked.” Blank smiled, kissed Blank on the forehead, and got out of bed. “We need to go to the store today.”
“I have a compulsion to get a better TV. One with better sound and definition.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”